Ready, Set, Go!

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.” 
― C. JoyBell C.

well, more than a year has passed since seattle. i moved to the beautiful city of san diego; a place where the sun shines 350 days out of the year. ok, perhaps i'm exaggerating but jesus, it's gorgeous. 

i met my current roommate on craigslist. dear lord baby jesus, was that a sight for sore eyes. the both of us were on our last resorts in an attempt to find a roommmate. once she emailed me, it was love at first sight. never have i ever met a person more in tune with the world. her understanding of people, her background as a psych nurse and her dabbling in the night life and gay scene, i could not help but jump at the opportunity to absorb her energy. 

as the months went by, i couldn't help but stop and wonder: could this really be how the rest of my life unfolds? living happily with soeone who actually understands me?! after many panic attacks and suicidal thoughts, i began on the long journey that involved meds. now, did i want to take them? absolutely not. however, there comes a point in one's life where you are at a crossroads: continue on the path that one has always taken or try something different. i have always been afraid of change but i think that this time, things will be different, i think the meds will really help me acheive the stability i have been longing for.

if you must know, something did push me to the brink. D's crazy jewish gf went full throttle. i recently tested positive for chlamydia. yeah, i've never even had a yeast infection. so of course, the only two options were C and D. to back track a little, C was our old upstairs neighbor whom i took a liking too. i became very fond of him but, he did not reciprocate. so, instead of wasting my time, i said good bye. now, after the results where given to me, still in shock, i reached out to D in the most ridiculous manner: i said "thanks for giving me chlamydia, stay classy!" (middle finger emoji). yes, that was not the smartest way to react but come on! after everything i went through with D, it's the least crazy way to react. anywho, the bitch went cray. stalked me through fb and sent me the most disgusting text message. after i calmed that fire, her friends harassed me at my local starbucks. girl, let a woman get some damn coffee first! 

i placed a restraining order on this bitch and decided to leave my life in the hands of god. weeks later, after discovering C had been the culprit in all this fiasco, D came crawling back and asked for forgiveness. really?! i understand that some people need to get let go but at what cost? my sanity? you put me over the edge! maybe J was right. you were in love with me. but honey it's too late and i've moved on. i want nothing but your body if anything. 

i tried tinder and jswipe for a while. thought i would get into this whole "hook up" culture. nevertheless, i managed to find a D2 who seemed extremely interested in me. after meeting D2 and getting over the fact that D and D2 had the same name, he was perfect. if i could wish for a man, it would be him. and so, i sit here, at my internship, (pretending to do work) thinking that perhaps life may not be so bad after all.

i work downtown, i found someone who i can potentially let completely in, and i am surrounded by friends who love and support me. 

thank you Univervise, may i continue to prosper and may you feel how grateful i am for all that i have.