l'amour est dans l'air.

"open me up and you will see,

i'm a gallery of broken hearts,

i'm beyond repair, let me be,

and give me back my broken parts."

love is in the air. i haven't told my story in quite some time and i do apologize. well if you must know, D and i are no longer. cut it right before V-Day. a mess with his so called mother and insane sister complicated things between us and it became too much to handle. we are still amigos and i do love him dearly.


as with J, well i mustered the courage to tell him how i felt but unfortunately he moved away. and besides all he could say was "i really like you as a friend and who knows maybe there could have been something there" whatever the flip that means. 

i guess you can say that in the love category, i never got an A. i can barely keep a paper heart from tearing into shreds.

V-Day, ahhhhh i can see the love. how sickening. i'm not much of a lovey dovey person (never have been) but it seems to me that it's nothing more than a commercialized holiday...much like christmas for that matter.
 

it's the second semester of my senior year. i know i should be worrying about college and what not but i'm not. i have decided to take the cheaper way, a jc. as i jog along through my last weeks in high school, i can't help but be thankful. thankful that i can finally leave all the immature, ungrateful, stuck up bastards in the past and move forward on the road to my adult life. i have to admit, i am very excited. 

i don't know where life will take me but i'm ready to encounter it all. i have met so many people and realized that no one is ever truly honest. there lies an underlying element of mystery that conceals the truth. however, once in a great while there comes along a person with whom everything blurs, where life is fun again, where the sun shines, and where you can feel a connection (it does not have to be sexually). people like this allow me to reflect on life in a more positive manner and not in my usual cynical way.

life is looking up. i have made amends with those i have wronged and with those who have wronged me, and in consequence have left all those feelings of anger and frustration behind. i have taking up cooking and photography as a "creative outlet" and find them therapeutic and have untapped a patience which i never thought i had.

l'amour est dans l'air. i feel nauseas.